Into the Abyss

“Man looks in the abyss, there’s nothing staring back at him. At that moment man finds his character. And that is what keeps him out of the abyss.”

Clearly, Bud Fox didn’t take Lou Mannheim’s advice back in 1987. We’ve been monitoring the current Charlie Sheen meltdown very closely. Our interest in Wild Thing’s current adventures started with pornstar Kacey Jordan’s amazing tell-all interview on Howard Stern (part I, part II, part III, part IV & part V / depending on where you work, those are likely NSFW). The best part of the Kacey Jordan Howard Stern chat is definitely the bit when Charlie writes her a $30,000 check (made out to Cash no less) for her services. Riveting stuff here people. And then came the very quotable phone call to Alex Jones, which while completely perplexing and ridiculous, is utterly amazing for its comedic value. It is also utterly sad to see a person as talented as Sheen self destruct publicly yet again.

All of this reminded us of the Joaquin Phonix meltdown / hoax in 2009. That was another sad yet totally enthralling case of celebrity destruction that had our full attention (even though that turned out to be a stunt). The Charlie Sheen story is just something we can’t seem to resist. Part of us feels bad for him and the people in his life that have been hurt by his incredibly reckless and insane behavior, but another evil part is also loving all of the crazy shit that is happening with the story. Which brings us to the article GQ put online yesterday, where writer Amy Wallace prods Kacey Jordan for more details as to her affair with Sheen and provides more insight into what exactly is driving Charlie’s meltdowns (besides sex and coke). You can read the GQ piece here.

So now you are totally up to speed on the 1987-like-but-totally-modern-day coke powered adventures of Charlie Sheen. Not our normal type of post around here, but good cocktail conversation none the less.

And remember…

“We work for the Pope, we murder people. We’re Vatican assassins. How complicated can it be? What they’re not ready for is guys like you and I and Nails and all the other gnarly gnarlingtons in my life, that we are high priests, Vatican assassin warlocks. Boom. Print that, people. See where that goes.” -Charlie Sheen

UPDATE: Charlie is on Twitter.

Comments on “Into the Abyss

    Greg on February 28, 2011 12:00 AM:

    Charlie Sheen apparently is on a world wide tour of sports talk radio:

    Jacob on February 28, 2011 1:21 AM:

    I know you noted it in your post anyway, but this really does not seem like the sort of post that belongs on this site. Celebrity news is just the ass end of media, let alone everyones obsession with a washed up Bowling Shirt salesman (

    …That said, it’s a nice excuse to post a pic from WallStreet!

    nick on February 28, 2011 1:40 AM:

    Always Be Blogging.

    mike on February 28, 2011 9:10 AM:

    a small part of my brain is jealous of charlie. i would do charlie sheen shite if i was charlie sheen. sorry

    vanderleun on February 28, 2011 10:38 AM:

    I’m agnostic on what sort of post does or does not belong on this site. That’s up to our host, I’d say.

    But, IF EVER, a post belonged on this site, it’s the Charlie Sheen brain-reassignment story tracked here. That rant is a classic.

    And, I note, that the photo has some sharp clothes in it. Plus the Lakers mug.

    jiheison on February 28, 2011 12:51 PM:

    As far as his recent gig, better this than the usual bathetic decline of popular sitcoms.

    As far as Sheen in general, key phrase describing his self “destruction”: “yet again.” He’ll be back, or he won’t. Either way, on his own terms.

    Billy on February 28, 2011 1:26 PM:

    We all know guys like Charlie. Some of us are guys like Charlie. He’ll never stop. He may take a break every now and then. He may even want (not likely) to stop. But Stop? Never. The best he could do is put it on hold for a while.

    Ye Ole General on February 28, 2011 2:14 PM:

    Why can’t we just leave Charlie alone?

    Jochan on March 1, 2011 12:12 AM:

    the guy clearly has substance induced mania….he is distracted/easily irritated, has erratic behavior, grandiose, makes no sense/flight of ideas (quote above), sleeps very little (as he points out in all his interviews), talkative to no end….he certainly fits all the diagnostic criteria. just my 2c.

    antimatt on March 1, 2011 1:33 PM:

    what I want to know is, does he listen to UGK? cause that would tie it all together.
    do your thing, charles.

    chris on March 2, 2011 8:11 AM:

    this is the best

    Axel on March 6, 2011 1:57 AM:

    What gets me is when people say Sheen is talented. He’s a line-reader at at best. He’s as wooden an actor as they come.

    Charlie on March 7, 2011 12:16 AM:

    As a twenty year-old college student who looks at life for the purposes of getting drunk, having sex, and having a general good time filled with intellectual curiosity. I admire Charlie Sheen’s rants even if he is going off the depend. But, he is an actor. A very good one and because of that this isn’t him having a breakdown. It has to be an act.

    Charlie on March 7, 2011 12:16 AM:

    *Deep End

    ALBERT on March 23, 2011 6:30 PM:

    CHARLIE SHEEN 4 LIFE !!!!!!!

Comments are closed.