A classic exchange between a season ticket holder and the Cleveland Browns front office from 1974. It’s a shame that no one would have the balls to send a reply like this today. The customer is not always right.

And the response from Browns General Counsel James N. Bailey. (Found via Cleveland Scene)

Related: US is a “Nation of wusses.”


    J. Beasley on December 27, 2010 8:20 PM:

    Definitely not what I expected. Very funny.

    TMH on December 27, 2010 8:22 PM:

    Typed Correspondence on Engraved letterhead. It hurts.

    Sleeper on December 27, 2010 8:32 PM:

    So good. So very good.

    suicide_blond on December 27, 2010 8:39 PM:


    Drake on December 27, 2010 8:53 PM:

    Best thing I have read in 2010

    Robert L. Wilson on December 27, 2010 9:47 PM:

    What a find!

    Tim T on December 27, 2010 9:55 PM:

    Mr. James N. Bailey had big balls!

    Reuben on December 27, 2010 10:10 PM:

    I heard this read last week on the Tony Kornheiser Show, but they failed to mention Chief Executive Asshole, Art Modell was copied on the correspondence. Nice.

    Maxwell on December 27, 2010 10:19 PM:


    Dave on December 27, 2010 11:19 PM:

    “cc: Art Modell”
    I love how they made sure the owner got a look at it, too.

    Luke on December 28, 2010 12:13 AM:

    Being from Pittsburgh, I was ready to say “Cleveland sucks,” but this is awesome. Thanks for sharing.

    Gina Americana on December 28, 2010 3:53 AM:

    This is really, really funny. Thanks for sharing it with us!

    Al James on December 28, 2010 4:38 AM:

    MW. I saw this the other day (maybe on Deadspin?) and almost sent it to you. Right up your alley for sure. I’m glad you shared with the ACL crew… Happy Holidays from Portland, Oregon. PS. Those Tellasons are filthy… AJ

    Rod Summers/VEC on December 28, 2010 5:32 AM:

    What a relief to see that not everyone bows to the ‘whodjasue?’ society.

    TMH on December 28, 2010 6:57 AM:

    It is funny stuff. This works with Political bumper Stickers too. Stop light, Parking lot “excuse me! some asshole put a ____/ ____ 2012 sticker on your car!” It’s all purpose.

    Finer Points on December 28, 2010 9:58 AM:

    Now that is some fine legal representation! Very funny.

    Elvisio on December 28, 2010 11:04 AM:


    Hopping Frog on December 28, 2010 11:40 AM:

    Awesome. Thanks for sharing.

    Richard Williams on December 28, 2010 1:29 PM:

    If he’s still alive, I want Mr. Bailey as my attorney. Any kin to F. Lee?

    JonIndiaâ„¢ on December 28, 2010 2:08 PM:

    Awesome, just effing classic Mike.

    009b on December 28, 2010 3:13 PM:

    very interesting

    ryan on December 28, 2010 3:31 PM:

    legendary status

    Rjones on December 28, 2010 3:44 PM:

    The second one is not signed and may have been faked… but still, very funny.

    harrykreps on December 28, 2010 5:59 PM:

    m.w. what’s always nice about your posts, is that you get it and that’s enough.

    guynoir on December 28, 2010 6:27 PM:

    Today they would just relieve him of his season tickets, thus removing the risk :)

    Great response though.

    saginawdan on December 28, 2010 6:58 PM:


    Mark on December 28, 2010 9:08 PM:

    Looks like Roetzel & Andress is still around, though Dale Cox himself is not. Steve Cox still is, though: Perhaps related?

    Gem at Very Pashmina on December 29, 2010 9:17 AM:

    So true!

    Steve on December 30, 2010 11:58 AM:

    Great response. Reminds me that in the old days of working at newspapers, we had lawyers who would say when we were in the right, “let ’em sue, we’ll slaughter ’em.” When I left the business several years ago it degraded to self-censorship and settling. Newspapers still lost money, but managed to lose their balls, too.

    JMD on December 30, 2010 9:55 PM:

    Very nicely done. I have trained several of my customers, who are themselves lawyers, to make sure that they keep the GTFO sign and letter handy for individuals such as these. “GTFO”? Get the…oh, well you know the rest, I’m sure.

    Jerry on January 1, 2011 4:13 AM:

    All this proves is that Browns fans were assholes back in 1974 just like today.

    Gillian on January 1, 2011 11:10 AM:

    My reaction was first, to laugh, and secondly, to wonder whether any reply was warranted.

    Ethan on January 1, 2011 12:49 PM:

    Best thing I have read in 2011

    Rosemary on January 1, 2011 1:49 PM:

    I’ve known a lot of lawyers at Roetzel and Andress and, seriously, the letter could have been written by any one of them. Take yourselves a little seriously, guys? The general counsel has my deepest respect.

    justin on January 2, 2011 12:21 AM:

    Name on the letterhead is Cletus. That is funny all by itself.


    Pete Walker on January 2, 2011 2:49 PM:

    OMG…Large and Brass. A wonderful and rare combination.

    Kieran Molloy on January 5, 2011 2:26 PM:

    James N. Bailey was one funny f*%ker :)

    reteptterrab on January 5, 2011 7:29 PM:

    What I’ve learned after too many years of dealing with the public; “The customer is always right, some of the time.”

    Stinks to think that someone would loose their job over a response like this now.

    Jimbo100 on January 6, 2011 12:19 AM:

    I’m guessing the intent of the Cox memo was a planned setup to create a scenario where multiple fans could start to make claims about getting hit in the eye with the paper plane. The wording is too complex for something this simple. Cox was / is a low-life ambulance-chaser with really nice letterhead to write this sort of asinine memo.

    Matt Dougan on January 11, 2011 11:26 AM:

    Classic! Nuf said….

Comments are closed.