Dec 27th, 2010 | Categories: Cleveland, Sports | by Michael Williams

A classic exchange between a season ticket holder and the Cleveland Browns front office from 1974. It’s a shame that no one would have the balls to send a reply like this today. The customer is not always right.

And the response from Browns General Counsel James N. Bailey. (Found via Cleveland Scene)

Related: US is a “Nation of wusses.”

Comments: 40


  1. J. Beasley
    on Dec 27th, 2010
    @ 8:20 PM

    Definitely not what I expected. Very funny.

  2. TMH
    on Dec 27th, 2010
    @ 8:22 PM

    Typed Correspondence on Engraved letterhead. It hurts.

  3. Sleeper
    on Dec 27th, 2010
    @ 8:32 PM

    So good. So very good.

  4. suicide_blond
    on Dec 27th, 2010
    @ 8:39 PM


  5. Drake
    on Dec 27th, 2010
    @ 8:53 PM

    Best thing I have read in 2010

  6. Robert L. Wilson
    on Dec 27th, 2010
    @ 9:47 PM

    What a find!

  7. Tim T
    on Dec 27th, 2010
    @ 9:55 PM

    Mr. James N. Bailey had big balls!

  8. Reuben
    on Dec 27th, 2010
    @ 10:10 PM

    I heard this read last week on the Tony Kornheiser Show, but they failed to mention Chief Executive Asshole, Art Modell was copied on the correspondence. Nice.

  9. Maxwell
    on Dec 27th, 2010
    @ 10:19 PM


  10. Dave
    on Dec 27th, 2010
    @ 11:19 PM

    “cc: Art Modell”
    I love how they made sure the owner got a look at it, too.

  11. Luke
    on Dec 28th, 2010
    @ 12:13 AM

    Being from Pittsburgh, I was ready to say “Cleveland sucks,” but this is awesome. Thanks for sharing.

  12. Gina Americana
    on Dec 28th, 2010
    @ 3:53 AM

    This is really, really funny. Thanks for sharing it with us!

  13. Al James
    on Dec 28th, 2010
    @ 4:38 AM

    MW. I saw this the other day (maybe on Deadspin?) and almost sent it to you. Right up your alley for sure. I’m glad you shared with the ACL crew… Happy Holidays from Portland, Oregon. PS. Those Tellasons are filthy… AJ

  14. Rod Summers/VEC
    on Dec 28th, 2010
    @ 5:32 AM

    What a relief to see that not everyone bows to the ‘whodjasue?’ society.

  15. TMH
    on Dec 28th, 2010
    @ 6:57 AM

    It is funny stuff. This works with Political bumper Stickers too. Stop light, Parking lot “excuse me! some asshole put a ____/ ____ 2012 sticker on your car!” It’s all purpose.

  16. Finer Points
    on Dec 28th, 2010
    @ 9:58 AM

    Now that is some fine legal representation! Very funny.

  17. Elvisio
    on Dec 28th, 2010
    @ 11:04 AM


  18. Hopping Frog
    on Dec 28th, 2010
    @ 11:40 AM

    Awesome. Thanks for sharing.

  19. Richard Williams
    on Dec 28th, 2010
    @ 1:29 PM

    If he’s still alive, I want Mr. Bailey as my attorney. Any kin to F. Lee?

  20. JonIndia™
    on Dec 28th, 2010
    @ 2:08 PM

    Awesome, just effing classic Mike.

  21. 009b
    on Dec 28th, 2010
    @ 3:13 PM

    very interesting

  22. ryan
    on Dec 28th, 2010
    @ 3:31 PM

    legendary status

  23. Rjones
    on Dec 28th, 2010
    @ 3:44 PM

    The second one is not signed and may have been faked… but still, very funny.

  24. harrykreps
    on Dec 28th, 2010
    @ 5:59 PM

    m.w. what’s always nice about your posts, is that you get it and that’s enough.

  25. guynoir
    on Dec 28th, 2010
    @ 6:27 PM

    Today they would just relieve him of his season tickets, thus removing the risk :)

    Great response though.

  26. saginawdan
    on Dec 28th, 2010
    @ 6:58 PM


  27. Mark
    on Dec 28th, 2010
    @ 9:08 PM

    Looks like Roetzel & Andress is still around, though Dale Cox himself is not. Steve Cox still is, though: Perhaps related?

  28. Gem at Very Pashmina
    on Dec 29th, 2010
    @ 9:17 AM

    So true!

  29. Steve
    on Dec 30th, 2010
    @ 11:58 AM

    Great response. Reminds me that in the old days of working at newspapers, we had lawyers who would say when we were in the right, “let ‘em sue, we’ll slaughter ‘em.” When I left the business several years ago it degraded to self-censorship and settling. Newspapers still lost money, but managed to lose their balls, too.

  30. JMD
    on Dec 30th, 2010
    @ 9:55 PM

    Very nicely done. I have trained several of my customers, who are themselves lawyers, to make sure that they keep the GTFO sign and letter handy for individuals such as these. “GTFO”? Get the…oh, well you know the rest, I’m sure.

  31. Jerry
    on Jan 1st, 2011
    @ 4:13 AM

    All this proves is that Browns fans were assholes back in 1974 just like today.

  32. Gillian
    on Jan 1st, 2011
    @ 11:10 AM

    My reaction was first, to laugh, and secondly, to wonder whether any reply was warranted.

  33. Ethan
    on Jan 1st, 2011
    @ 12:49 PM

    Best thing I have read in 2011

  34. Rosemary
    on Jan 1st, 2011
    @ 1:49 PM

    I’ve known a lot of lawyers at Roetzel and Andress and, seriously, the letter could have been written by any one of them. Take yourselves a little seriously, guys? The general counsel has my deepest respect.

  35. justin
    on Jan 2nd, 2011
    @ 12:21 AM

    Name on the letterhead is Cletus. That is funny all by itself.


  36. Pete Walker
    on Jan 2nd, 2011
    @ 2:49 PM

    OMG…Large and Brass. A wonderful and rare combination.

  37. Kieran Molloy
    on Jan 5th, 2011
    @ 2:26 PM

    James N. Bailey was one funny f*%ker :)

  38. reteptterrab
    on Jan 5th, 2011
    @ 7:29 PM

    What I’ve learned after too many years of dealing with the public; “The customer is always right, some of the time.”

    Stinks to think that someone would loose their job over a response like this now.

  39. Jimbo100
    on Jan 6th, 2011
    @ 12:19 AM

    I’m guessing the intent of the Cox memo was a planned setup to create a scenario where multiple fans could start to make claims about getting hit in the eye with the paper plane. The wording is too complex for something this simple. Cox was / is a low-life ambulance-chaser with really nice letterhead to write this sort of asinine memo.

  40. Matt Dougan
    on Jan 11th, 2011
    @ 11:26 AM

    Classic! Nuf said….