In my high school days my good friend Cale and I spent some time working as porters at a local car dealership. The job involved quite a bit of general grunt work, tons of new car prep and a helluva lot of car washing. Washing cars in the summer is one thing, but washing cars in the middle of a Cleveland winter is an altogether different thing. It sucks.
Our job also involved transporting inventory between the main dealership lot and the storage lot which was tucked away in a secluded area about five hundred yards from the dealership. Often we used a trade-in to shuttle over there to get whatever new cars the sales manager had ordered us to bring up. You’d probably be surprised to know that nobody really gave two shits about those trade-in cars, which meant my buddy Cale and I didn’t feel too bad about using them to perfect our tactical driving skills. And by tactical driving skills, I mean learning the intricacies of the relationship between the gas pedal and the hand brake.
The corned beef sandwich is a very important part of a man’s diet. The practice of eating such delectable meats dates back to Ireland in the 12th century, where the salted beef was first referenced in the poem Aislinge Meic Con Glinne. The poem tells the tale of King Cathal mac Finguine and and his desire to purge himself of his obsession with food and the “demon of gluttony.”
During his battle with gluttony King Cathal mac Finguine had a vision of a land made entirely of food (from Wikipedia):
The fort we reached was beautiful,
With works of custards thick,
Beyond the loch.
New butter was the bridge in front,
The rubble dyke was wheaten white,
Bacon the palisade.
Stately, pleasantly it sat,
A compact house and strong.
Then I went in:
The door of it was dry meat,
The threshold was bare bread,
cheese-curds the sides.
Smooth pillars of old cheese,
And sappy bacon props
Fine beams of mellow cream,
White rafters – real curds,
Kept up the house.
Can’t say I haven’t been there myself, King.
Important Shit is a new series of posts highlighting seemingly unimportant shit that I think is interesting. First up, how to tie a Monkey’s Fist. You never know when you need to add some weight to a line to deploy it as a weapon a la Steven Seagal Out For Justice. Or maybe you want to learn this just to kill some time. Either way, this is some pretty important shit. Enjoy.
Oh, one last thing, you might want to mute the video — music is terrible.